My first Ramadan in isolation.( an Introduction)
Posted by Michelle on 02 Ramadhan 1430 / 8/23/09 • Categorized as South Africa
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I grew up in Cape Town in a Christian family. My mom raised my brother and I the best way she knew how. But I was always different, I felt that I was not like her.
Growing up most of my friends were Muslim, my time with them is when I felt most like myself. I knew I was different and they accepted me for who I was and my way of thinking. By the time I was 18, I was referred to as a “slamse whitie”, that was me, and I embraced it.
I am by nature a conversationalist so when I discovered online chatting I was in heaven. I have made so many lifelong friends online, built amazing relationships and shared in the joys and sorrows of life. It’s not suprising that the majority of my online friends are Muslim aswell, from a wide range of countries around the world.
It was during one late night conversation with an English graduate from Egypt, that I was told for the first time in my life, straight out, that I have an Islamic mentality, and this from a person I had just started chatting to a few hours before. We chatted for an average of 6 hours every night and after 3 months I felt ready to convert.
I am a grown woman, 30 years old, and despite this I knew my mother would never understand, seeing as Christianity was drilled into me at every turn as a child. I decided to keep this from her and my family for now, seeing as I was back living in her house., It was February 2009.
A few weeks back I was talking to a friend who was saying he must start getting ready for Ramadan. He asked if I would fast and I replied “how can I when I must hide from my mom, who I live with?” I then realised that with a little bit of careful thought, I could fast without her even suspecting!!!
I was really excited at the thought. I started preparing myself mentally. It was the best feeling in the world to know that I could partake in one of the most important months of the Islamic year.
It is now day 2, seeing as its weekend, the worst I have had to deal with so far is my moms smoking all day and the chocolate cake standing on the kitchen counter. Everytime I become tempted, I just remember why I am doing this, to strengthen my faith and make me stronger, even though hiding and practicing in isolation is testing enough?!?!
I am isolated because I recently moved to Johannesburg and I don’t know anybody. I am totally disconnected from everyone and everything. But I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and I know I am finally embracing the right path, I will no let anything stand in my way.
NOT EVEN CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is a working day…..hmmmmm, I wonder how that will go??……
Michelle is
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Slmz
It must be hard hiding from your mother and i wish i could say that i know and understand where you coming from but i don’t.
I’m in jhb and I know that a few of us inshallah will be getting together for iftaar one of the evenings maybe you can join us.
mail me zahirakharsany[at]gmail.com
Allahu Akbar. Dear Sister, May Allah grant you ease and make a way out for you. I embraced Islam while living with my parents and tried practicing and praying on my own for 6 months before they found out I was Muslim.
Insha-Allah whatever difficulty we experience in the path of Allah, it will serve as a means to draw closer to our creator. Allah is the one who gives us the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Allah states in a verse in the Quran:
﴿وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجاًوَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لاَ يَحْتَسِبُ﴾
(And whosoever has Taqwa of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out. And He will provide him from where he never could imagine.) meaning, whoever has Taqwa of Allah in what He has commanded and avoids what He has forbidden, then Allah will make a way out for him from every difficulty and will provide for him from resources he never anticipated or thought about.
More Tafsir(interpretation) on this Ayat can be found at – http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1317&Itemid=121
The Prophet Muhammad also tells us in a Hadith Qudsi that Allah saysi: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.”
May Allah grant ease to you and to all of us and grant us a way out of our difficulties, and make us of those who enter into His paradise.
When I embraced Islam many strange situations and challenges appeared, and shaytaan is ever present trying to prevent us from attaining Allah’s forgiveness.
As salam walekum, Sister.
Its really very hard to hide the fact and your feelings from your family members.
May ALLAH give you courage and make you more stronger than you are now.
IshaALLAH everything will be coming alright ALLAH know everywell what is good for you and May HE give you the same.
Me in johannesburg if you need any help you can contact me : shahid_shk@yahoo.com
Salaam,
I have a number of friends in JHB and you would do well to get in touch with them, though I see ZK has already given you her email so I’m sure you’ll meet them all now.
Good luck and I hope you are granted mercy in your struggle. I look forward to reading more as you meet more Muslims in JHB, there’s lot of cool people there. You’ll be fine.
Mash
hello michelle
u know something im proud of u …and wanna tell u not to be afraid of anything because u have a lot of good friends around u ..we will stand by u … wish u happy ramadan and hope to see u soon
mahmoud fwazi
Assalamu alaykum sister
You are an inspiration to us all. May every sacrifice that you make bring you closer to Allah. May Allah shower you with the greatest of blessings. Aameen.
Fatima
PS. You have my email address. Please contact me and join us for iftaar. My mother also embraced Islam and I am sure you will be able share concerns with her.
Asalamu Alaikum sister.
Ramadaan mubarak.
Masha allah.
I am so proud of you that you have accepted Islam.
Inshallah all will be fine now that you have allah in your life.
Remember a muslim always has hope no matter what the circumstances.
Your situation will improve and you will be able to confront your family
inshallah because you are on the straight path sister and
allah has chosen you to give guidance to.
Inshallah allah will make it easy for you during ramadaan.
If you ever need to talk do e-mail me,
Assalamu Alaikum Michelle
Welcome to the SA Islamic Community. May ALLAH reward always Inshallah. Please make dua for us all.
I befriended you on Facebook, so will let me know if you have questions, need advice etc. I have few friends in JHB too
All the best
Khalil
Asallam wu alaikum Dear Sister Michelle,
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, who has prescribed fasting for us, as it was prescribed for those before us, such that we may attain Taqwa.
Your story highlights the fact that Fasting is the most intimate form of worship – a true secret that exists beween a servant and his/her Lord.
Glory be to Allah – in His Infinite Mercy and Benevolance, may He bless you with Imaan and Piety, Long Life, Health and Wealth and may He grant you Janaat-ul-Firdaus for your steadfastness.